The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
