I accidentally burped into my bong.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
