this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
