Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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