Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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