youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
