He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
im holly from the hills drunk
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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