I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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