So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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