and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize