Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
