i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
