That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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