i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
