i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
