i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
