the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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