You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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