also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
