When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize