fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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