I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
