She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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