Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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