two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Randomize
