i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
