Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
