hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
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