Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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