i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
