i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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