The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
