then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm too high and old for this...
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize