I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
