thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize