im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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