I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
