Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
