just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
