Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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