i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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