wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
