We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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