This is not my ceiling
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
