Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
