I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
