My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
