advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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