Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
