Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
