he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
