Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Ketchup is God's man juice
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize