Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
