I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
