Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
It's official drugs can't kill me
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
