dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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