I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
