I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
