Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
