One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
