u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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