We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
