She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
