Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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