Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
